So i'm curious what everyone feels about visitors before, during, or immediatly after delivering your Baby. From day one, that i peed on a stick, I've said to TIno..this is something really special for you and I. We, together are starting a family, therefore, We should be the only one's around on the big day. I know i'm an out going person, I love people, and I'm a people pleaser, I also am very private in some ways.
The only thing Tino and I have control of in this matter is our birthing plan, and that includes our preparation, Labour, Delivery, and bringing home our bundle of joy together, with only us. I'm feeling its a really important time for us 3 to bond, settle in, get aquainted with our HUGE life changing event and kind of get our bearings, that being said...EVERYONE wants to come and stay with us, or come by, or we can help etc etc etc and I had to put up a barrier and I feel guilty, but for once, Tino and I have to put ourselves first, its not all about the baby, its about US!......To be totally honest..We dont not want a single person around during this time. I can't imagine having contractions in my kitchen, with anyone else there except my husband, that being said, I also can't imagine coming home from the the hospital, learning how to nurse, totally sleep deprived, and having anyone else there but my husband. I asked my sister inlaw, how was it when you came home with Lucas....she said she was so tired, and when there was people there visiting, she felt SO Mad and angy and stressed because she could of been resting. I do not want any commitment during that time, nor do I want to feel trapped in my own home. Our home is our comfort zone, and that is what we will need. I will have Tino and he will have me. We need to learn, and as much as our family loves us....and in all fairness, this is our wish....
Now..are we wrong for wanting this?? I have instructed my own mom to just give us our space, and she totally respects that and is so understanding of it. By all means a few weeks down the road, please come and see your grand baby but, until us 3 are ready, I think we can tough it out on our own. Its totally nothing personal to all our loved ones, its just something that we want.
I'm curious to know everyone's opinion on this? Its hard because we have no family in calgary so when they do come, I feel obligated to cater to my company, thats just who I am, weather is my parents, my friend or my inlaws, I prepare meals, i clean like crazy make sure the bed is washed, etc etc. I Don't want to have that stress hanging over my head around our baby time, plus, NOBODY would enjoy my company, and the help would be way more appreciated down the road, and I want NO OBLIGATION...
Anyways this has been a topic of conversation for TIno and I lately and i'm glad we are both on the same page in regards to this. This is just one example of how husband's and wife's help support eachother. Daddy needs privacy just as much as mommy does....especially Learning how to change a diaper :) We will be just fine, moms and dads, brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, friends and cousins....but I promise after a few weeks to open our door so you can meet it!
Deena
Well now that we got that off your chest see ya in vegas da da
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you already know what you want. So much of parenting is doing what is right for you and your family and not what everyone says.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I would keep in mind is that I'm sure everyone else is just as excited about the baby as you and although it will be the biggest change for you, maybe you have to give up your expectations of your role when people come to visit.
I remember my parents being around when Lucas was a newborn and it let me sleep more. They live in the city so it's different and I feel very comfortable around them. My in laws did come and stay for a week when the first one was about 5 weeks old. It was a challenge, but I did have to give up worrying about what they thought about my house and my parenting and just do what I needed to do. I don't know that I would recommend it, like I said in the beginning, I think so much of parenting is doing what works for you and your family.
Good Luck
Jenn